Restoring Apostolic Faith

There are moments when the mind feels overfull—when theology becomes noise instead of nourishment, when calling feels heavy instead of purposeful. On those days, clarity rarely comes by sitting still. It has to be ridden out. Yesterday, I took the motorcycle and followed the road until the noise in my head was replaced by wind, engine, and sky. Somewhere between the curve of the Texas backroads and the rhythm of the tires, something quiet and steady rose back to the surface:

It is still good to be who God made me.

That reminder sounds simple, but it cuts deep. Because somewhere along the way, many believers are subtly taught to confuse holiness with personality erasure. As if God’s goal is to sand us down into the same shape. As if righteousness means becoming smaller, softer, less human.

But Scripture is consistently clear:

God calls persons, not mannequins.

He shapes character, not personality.

He redeems nature, He does not erase it.

The ride reminded me that enjoyment, reflection, rest, and even a good cigar or a well-mixed old fashioned are not enemies of holiness. They can be the very setting where fellowship with God becomes most real. The early church fathers knew this. The apostles lived this. Yet today, many treat sanctification as a costume rather than a work of the conscience guided by the Spirit.

So the question becomes:

What does it mean to walk in righteousness without losing oneself?

Holiness Is Not Performance

A critical distinction needs to be made between holiness and holiness culture.

Holiness in Scripture is covenant loyalty—devotion, allegiance, sincerity, integrity of heart. It is to be oriented toward God in love and obedience.

Holiness culture, on the other hand, is a performance of external markers meant to signal spiritual maturity to others.

One is about the heart before God.

The other is about image before people.

The prophets repeatedly warned Israel against this performance-based religion:

“These people draw near to Me with their words

And honor Me with their lips,

But their hearts are far from Me.”

— Isaiah 29:13 (NASB 1995)

Jesus echoes the same concern, warning the Pharisees not because they cared about righteousness—but because they replaced the weightier matters of the Law (justice, mercy, faithfulness) with public displays of piety.

Holiness that is measured by appearance becomes theater.

Holiness that is lived from conscience becomes transformation.

Conscience: Where the Spirit Works

Paul speaks often about conscience—not as a vague feeling, but as the inner place where the Spirit forms us.

“The goal of our instruction is love from a pure heart,

A good conscience, and a sincere faith.”

— 1 Timothy 1:5

Notice the sequence:

1. Pure heart – alignment of love toward God and others

2. Good conscience – internal clarity and integrity

3. Sincere faith – trust without pretense

This is not a list of behaviors.

It is a state of being.

A person can appear outwardly “holy” while having:

• A heart driven by pride

• A conscience dulled by self-justification

• A faith that is intellectual but not surrendered

But a person who walks sincerely before God may look rougher around the edges, imperfect in habits, still learning and growing—yet be deeply aligned with Christ.

The Spirit does not sanctify us by making us less ourselves.

The Spirit sanctifies us by making us more truthful versions of ourselves.

Sin in Scripture Is Primarily About Allegiance

This is where many modern Christians misunderstand the biblical teaching on sin. Most sermons today focus heavily on personal moral slip-ups—impatience, language, habits, small stumbles. But in Scripture, the overwhelming emphasis of sin is on false worship, idolatry, and loyalty to the wrong kingdom.

When Israel fell, it was not because they occasionally lacked patience.

It was because they shifted allegiance to other gods.

The great sins of the Bible—Baal worship, greed, arrogance, exploitation—are not simply “bad behaviors.” They are covenantal betrayals. They represent a turning of the heart away from God.

This is why the New Testament’s sin lists (Gal 5:19–21, Eph 4:17–32, Rom 1:18–32) are not aimed at believers who occasionally stumble.

They are aimed at:

• People whose pattern and identity remain shaped by the world

• Those who talk about God but do not walk with Him sincerely

The early church did not expect perfection.

They expected allegiance.

The Early Church on Sincerity Over Image

Ignatius of Antioch, writing only one generation after the apostles, put this plainly:

“If anyone is part of a schism, he has no part in the Kingdom of God.”

This sounds harsh until it is understood properly.

Schism is not disagreement.

Schism is refusal to walk in unity of faith, conscience, and life with the Body of Christ.

Likewise, he wrote:

“If anyone walks in a strange mind, he has no part in the Passion.”

The “strange mind” he speaks of is not imperfection.

It is the mindset that says:

“I will speak of Christ but live by my own terms.”

Ignatius is not excluding the weak.

He is exposing the insincere.

The early church welcomed the struggling, the learning, the imperfect, the repentant.

But it had no patience for those who treated faith as a hobby or public identity badge.

Their standard was simple:

Walk what you say you believe.

Even if slowly. Even if imperfectly.

But walk it.

Returning to the Road — and the Lesson

On the motorcycle yesterday, I remembered something essential:

The things that bring me to contemplation—music, motion, open sky, the smell of oak and cedar—are not distractions. They are the places where God has always met me.

We all have these places:

• A workshop

• A hiking trail

• A quiet porch

• A gym under fluorescent lights and iron

• A study surrounded by books

• A kitchen counter before dawn

• A cigar and a sky full of stars

These are not escapes.

They are altars.

Places where the heart unclenches enough to hear again.

God did not ask us to stop being human.

He asked us to stop being divided.

Leading Others to the Same Freedom

If I am to teach or shepherd or write for others, I must teach them this:

God did not call you to be someone else’s version of holy.

He called you to walk in sincerity of faith.

To align your conscience with His Spirit.

To live loyally, not perform morally.

Christ does not make us less alive.

He makes us more real.

And walking with Him will not always look like the quiet piety of polished religion. Sometimes it looks like a man on a motorcycle, thinking, praying, remembering—to breathe again.

Not running from God.

Running with Him.

Into the wind.

Closing Thought

We become sanctified not when we try to impress God with our behavior,

but when we allow Him to align our hearts and conscience with His.

We become holy not by erasing ourselves,

but by becoming whole in Christ.

Let the believer who is weary remember:

You were not called to play a role.

You were called to walk with God.

And He still meets His people on open roads.