Restoring Apostolic Faith

And Why Most Christians Stay in Chains

You know the hardest part about being a theologian?

It’s the crowded loneliness.

You can be surrounded by believers—smiling, worshipping, quoting devotionals—and still feel like you are the only one in the room who hears the tone of Scripture. Everyone else reads Galatians like a gentle postcard from Paul. You’re the one who hears:

“He’s yelling.

He is begging them to wake up.”

It’s like being in a gallery where everyone is admiring the brushstrokes, while you’re the only one noticing that the painting is on fire.

And strangely—beautifully—this same thing that makes you feel alone is what gives you peace. Because once you see Scripture for what it actually says—not just what modern Christian habit has normalized—you step into a freedom most believers never experience.

That freedom begins in one verse:

Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not take into account,

and in whose mouth is no deceit.

— Psalm 32:2 (echoed in Romans 4)

Most Christians recognize the verse.

Almost none understand the terms of the blessing.

Which is why so many believers walk around looking spiritually constipated—trying to act forgiven while quietly terrified of being exposed.

Let’s fix that.

1. The Blessing Isn’t for the Sinless

We moderns assume the blessed person is:

• disciplined,

• self-controlled,

• morally impressive,

• “put together.”

Psalm 32 is the opposite.

David wrote this after Bathsheba. After adultery, deceit, and murder.

He is not celebrating “forgiveness of small mistakes.”

He is saying:

I sinned in a way that should have destroyed me.

And God did not put it in the ledger.

Paul uses the verb λογίζομαι (logizomai) — to account, to record, to credit or debit.

This is banking language.

The blessing isn’t:

“The righteous never sin.”

The blessing is:

God refuses to write it down when you stop lying about it.

That’s the hinge.

2. The Freedom Is in the No Deceit

“…and in whose mouth is no deceit.”

The deceit is not the sin itself.

It’s the cover story.

It’s the curated persona.

The holy-smile performance.

The “I’m good, just trusting God” voice.

The blessed one is not the one who sins less.

It’s the one who stops pretending.

The moment you speak the truth:

• the shame breaks,

• the mind clears,

• the panic loosens,

• the soul stops running.

Not because you suddenly became good.

But because you finally became honest.

3. Most Christians Never Experience This Freedom

Most believers don’t confess sin.

They confess vibes.

“I’ve been struggling.”

“It’s been a tough season.”

“I’m working through some things.”

That’s not confession.

That’s PR.

Confession is:

“I sinned. And I didn’t want to admit it.”

No explanation.

No moral camouflage.

No heroic narrative about “what I was going through.”

Just truth.

The blessing doesn’t meet you where you perform.

It meets you where you stop lying.

3A. “I Only Need to Confess to God” (And Other Cute Lies We Tell)

This line is embroidered on Protestant throw pillows everywhere:

“I confess to God alone.”

Sounds spiritual.

Is absolutely unbiblical.

James 5:16:

Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed.

Forgiveness is vertical.

Healing is horizontal.

You can be forgiven and still mentally tormented because your shame is unshared.

Hiding keeps sin alive.

Confession suffocates it.

The early church didn’t confess to impress God.

They confessed to kill the lie.

And here’s the real reason modern Christians avoid it:

Not holiness.

Fear.

Fear of being ordinary.

Fear of being exposed.

Fear of being known.

But God never heals what you insist on disinfecting in private.

You prayed.

You were forgiven.

But you never confessed.

So you never healed.

4. Paul Didn’t Quote Psalm 32 to Excuse Sin

Paul isn’t saying:

“It doesn’t matter how you live.”

He’s saying:

You can’t walk in righteousness while defending your sin.

Righteousness is direction, not flawlessness.

You fall forward.

God counts the direction.

Not the stumble.

5. The First-Century Church Understood This

They didn’t ask:

“Are you behaving?”

They asked:

“Are you honest?”

Sin didn’t shock them.

Pretending did.

They weren’t scandalized by failure.

They were scandalized by masks.

6. Truth Doesn’t Free You Because You Know It

Jesus didn’t say:

“The truth will inform you.”

He said:

“The truth will make you free.”

Truth doesn’t free you when you study it.

Truth frees you when you stop hiding from it.

Freedom is not a doctrine.

It’s the absence of a mask.

7. So How Do You Actually Live This?

1. Name the sin plainly. No softeners.

2. Stop narrating yourself as noble. You don’t need a justification monologue.

3. Say it to one real believer. Out loud breaks the spell.

4. Don’t rebuild the persona. Once the mask cracks, leave it shattered.

Freedom is not the absence of sin.

Freedom is the absence of deceit.

Final Thought

The loneliness you’ve felt?

That wasn’t the lack of others.

That was the lack of honesty in the room.

The moment you drop the mask—

The real ones will find you.

Because honesty recognizes its own.

And that—

is where the kingdom starts.